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Take Two

by phoenix ↓

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1.
I feel like a ghost-- Faker than most . . . Do you remember who I am? The world was much smaller then, The tears in your eyes aren't pretend, Have I been a fair-weather friend? I feel like a ghost, Faker than most, I hope that you know, It comes and it goes--I miss you so . . . But you don't remember who I am, You felt much stronger then, Holes in your soul don't quite mend, But the truth in your heart--you can bend Now I don't remember who I am, But I felt much happier then, Stars are my home--I pretend, Nighttime's my fair-weather friend I feel like a ghost, Faker than most, I hope that you'll know, When it comes and it goes--I'll miss you so . . . . . . You? C6, Is where we all go, When our hearts die, Is when our love grows, I want to go home, And I don't want to be alone . . . Who? The ghosts up above--they can howl all they want, 'Cause the heart that they lack is the heart that you've got, They've been screeching for years just to make you believe, But believing in fear is not believing in me The gods up above--they can bitch all they want, 'Cause the love that they lack is the love that we've got, They've been preaching for years just to make you believe, But believing in ghosts--it won't save you from me We're realer than those . . . Love terrifies both . . . I hope that you know . . . I'm no fucking ghost--I love you so much.
2.
we move, in circles, and we lose, because we have to and what to do, with these holes in you... you move me, like the movies, you sleep through, when it's me and it's you, the whole night through, while i'm watching you and these tubes, you breathe through... keep me and you, a little longer by you, a little stronger for you, and the whole night through i'll watch over you
3.
I don't know why I'm here.
4.
Sky burns a hole in her hands, An off-tilt smile lifts constant whirlwind, And I find it easy to pretend, Because I love the wind And are we fooled? By her beautiful Rain (Reign) Sky Lips, Sky Lips, Sky Lips, Sky Lips, Sky Lips, Sky Dawn holds a girl in her hands, Ignite past night, You're constant romance, And I'll see no reason to pretend, Because I know who I am Patience And are we fooled? By her beautiful Grace (Greys) Sky Lips, I'm wireless, And free Sky Lips, If it's part of you, Then it's part of me Oh, I'm so so/sold, On the idea, Of you being freed Sky Lips, I am wireless, And free
5.
nightlight tonight, oh pretty please? starlight that hides, under your wing tomorrow we try, be all we can be, i think i would like, your light beside me light up the night for me, where have i gone wrong? why can i not see? light up the world for me, oh Nightlight Kid, keep the night bright please nightlight tonight, and all that you bring, i know that i hide, from what you don't see daylight's a fight, when you're just a dream, i know that you try, and keep the darkness from me light up the sky, why does it take so long? for you and i light up the world for me, why does it take so long? just to fall asleep light up so bright for me, oh Nightlight Kid, keep the night bright please light up inside for me, oh Nightlight Kid... keep the dark from me.
6.
(take me home) "strength to borrow love, fear, and sorrow will you still be there? today tomorrow the straight and narrow steel, blood, and marrow will you still be there? my hope and arrow you are not alone"
7.
Do you feel? Any less in here, 'Cause when you're real, You disappear You can crawl your way out, About any day now, Have you been without? A friend, Again Do you feel? Any lesson here, 'Cause when you're real, You disappear Or you can claw your way out, Well any day now, Have you been without? A friend, Again But she seems to take pleasure in this, Noise, But she seems to take pleasure in this, Boy . . . Steadfast-- I'm basic, A hole within a part, Within a whole Tear up, It's tragic, And more a part of me, Than you could ever know Steadfast-- I'm basic, A whole within a part, Within a hole Tear up, It's fucking magic, And more a part of you, Than I will ever know.
8.
Dear Emily, Come find me, (it's supposed to make you feel better) Now won't you please, (and maybe this time) Sing your song for me, (feel again) Dear Emily
9.
please, set this poem on fire, the bleed, is hopeless from your eyes if we, could just climb a little higher, would we be given up? would we feel less alive? with broken wings, and broken hearts, you broke your things, and i broke my arms, 'cause with broken feeling, comes Broken Art, from your breaking end, to your broken start... please set this poem on fire, to see sights hopeless from your eyes, if we could just shine a little brighter, would we be good enough? would we feel less alive? with broken hunger, come broken thirst, with broken buildings, and broken worth, your broken children, get broken worst, you've broken meaning, and you've broken hurt... oh no, everywhere i go, anytime you know, sell it again, out again, out again... when you're ready, come inside, it's intolerable, but you won't mind so when you're ready, climb up high, 'cause you're the collectible ...that i can't find
10.
Come what may, 'Cause they are everywhere, Inside of me And please, Don't stay, 'Cause you are more to me, Than I'll ever weigh down tonight My luck, You seem to fly, With beautiful lips, And beautiful eyes My luck, It seems to die, With beautiful lips, And beautiful height Come what may.
11.
Lullaby: "Her light's bleeding, From her eyes, Onto the floor, Where I adored you before You were seeping, In through the cracks, Into the spaces, You don't get back, When you've gone away And this place, Ruins flowers for me, And you don't care, But they are everywhere I go Could you please, Slow it down for me, 'Cause you're everywhere, And anywhere I go Did you expect me to say? That you were everything? That I never felt this way until I met you? Well it's a lie and you know, As lies often go, We never say how we feel until it's much too late Maybe all you need is, A Generic Love Song, Baby, So you can think, Clearly, A Generic Love Song, Baby, For you and for me, So we can be Totally free So I'll ask you why, You left us alive, Can't you hear them cry? Every Goddamned night? Until I come in, And beg you to stop, But you're yelling and you're yelling, And you're yelling and you won't-- And you're yelling and you're yelling, Now I'm yelling and we're yelling, It's always yelling always yelling, This yelling and this yelling, And you won't Expect me to say, That you were everything, That I never felt this way until I met you It's true and you know, As truth often goes, We never say how we feel until it's much too late Well maybe all you need is, A Generic Love Song, Baby, So you can think, Clearly, A Generic Love Song, Baby, For you and for me, So we can be Totally free."
12.
hey is that you by the window shining through but wait it's all you do can't count on him no to follow through angel is falling down she needs your help right now i can't swim in the sound that you all scream so loud angel is freaking out 'cause her god's a fucking clown my faith's been burning out since i stopped looking down hey i think it's you outside my window breaking through but wait it's all so new where did the wind go and where did you angels are falling down can't get to sleep right now 'cause your heart's been crying out without making a sound angels are drowning out your gods have put you down i hope they lose their crown and hit the fucking ground hey i know it's you step back from the window and hold onto
13.
i know you're strong enough

about

On the original releases I experimented with mixing techniques intended for stereo playback (I'm from the headphones gen), but with more people listening on phones and such, I decided to try and make these translate better in mono. No longer had the original mixes so it was an interesting experience.

I may re-record some of these songs in the future, but I've found there's often something visceral captured on the original recordings. This project is an ongoing audio diary--I want you to hear the rough notes too.

You can listen to the original mixes (intended for stereo playback) on Angel Heights, Hearts Out, Ghost, Hope & Arrow, and Talking to Myself respectively.

Thank you always,
Ethan


p.s. Added a few collabs by the end.

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released August 7, 2021

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Ethan Mask Ontario

phoenix ↓

Music can change the world. It's as simple as finding a better head space. Whether through your headphones, pen, or coming out of your lungs—music can change you.

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